76. "Andrea Chénier" by Umberto Giordano and Luigi Illica

I'm going to reserve judgement on this until I see Aprille Millo in all her glory on April 14, but in the meantime, I will admit that I left between Acts III and IV because Violetta Urmana's "La mamma morta" lacked passion and Ben Heppner fell short, especially during the final bars of the famous Act II duet when he stopped singing altogether. We know he has the notes, now he just needs to sing them.

Letter from London (70-75)

Cheerio! I spent this past weekend seeing six shows in three days, which I would never recommend to anyone unless they're on lots of caffeine and/or participating in a blog competition such as this one. So without further ado, here's what I saw:



Dirty Dancing: The Disaster Musical
While this has disaster written all over it, and I was warned by some confidantes in London that it is an outright stinker, I couldn't help but be seduced by the notion that there's just no way on Earth anyone could screw up an already bad romantic dramedy filled with awful one-liners, a great soundtrack, and a heartwarming story. Well, in this case, I was proven wrong. I understand that the person responsible for this great injustice is none other than the writer Eleanor Bergstein, who owns all rights to the story and wouldn't let anyone touch her baby. The problem wasn't just in the use of the original film script, word for word, but that there was nothing different about it. Adding to it that every single line fell flat, and the dancing was lovingly ripped-off step by step, I'm not surprised the critics savaged this one. But by some miracle, the show is a success and it was difficult to get a ticket to the Friday matinee. The audience reaction was pretty quiet and not a soul laughed, but the appropriate applause greeted the end of each canned number and the hooting and hollering at Johnny Castle's entrance and the baring of his pecs during the sex scene reminded me that I was in a house full of women.


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"The Tempest" by Thomas Ades, after William Shakespeare
This new opera premiered at the Royal Opera House Covent Garden in 2004 to great notices.Thankfully, it was revived this year, giving more life to a very risky and ultimately satisfying score. However, the creator decided to strip the play of its musical language by taking away Shakespeare's poetry, thereby dulling it considerably. But to turn the characters of Stephano and Trinculo from comedic boobs into obvious boors was outright idiotic. Thankfully, I was distracted by Ian Bostridge's gorgeous tenor, and the inexplicable Tyranosaurus Rex that dominated the last scene, adding more mess than necessary to an already awkward production. Seen in the audience: Simon Callow.


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"A Midsummer Night's Dream" by William Shakespeare, directed by Tim Supple
If any of the programming directors from the Lincon Center Festival or the Brooklyn Academy of Music are reading this, take note: This is a must for New York audiences in the summer of 2008. There's a UK tour planned after this current run at the Roundhouse Theater in Northern London. I'm guessing The Armory would be an ideal venue in NY. The production is an Southeast Asian retelling of the comedy in seven different languages, with the majority of the actors being Indian or Sri Lankan. A great spectacle.


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"The Gondoliers" by Gilbert & Sullivan
The English National Opera's vivid production of the irreverent G&S operetta is a delight, though it doesn't compensate for the somewhat mediocre singing. Henry Goodman stars as the Duke of Plazatoro. What the hell is he doing in this?!? The sets and costumes could've been designed by Martha Stewart using her K-mart color palette, with vibrant neon and pastel yellows, greens, blues, oranges, and purples. Yikes! A rainbow maker's dream.


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"The Lady from Dubuque" by Edward Albeee
I jumped at this chance to see Maggie Smith in Anthony Page's staging of the Albee comedy, one that suffered a short death on Broadway in 1980. I'd purchased £15 tickets in the gallery via Ticketmaster, but when I'd arrived at the box office to collect them, I was told I'd been upgraded to the Royal Circle. No complaintant, me. This mostly American cast is all excellent, though it was surprising to see Dame Mags have difficulties using an American accent. Catherine McCormack is brilliant as the cancer-stricken Jo. Seen in the audience: Jonathan Pryce.


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"Total Eclipse" by Christoper Hampton
At first I thought this was going to be a bio-musical about the life of Bonnie Tyler (what an idea!), but I was soon to stand corrected that it was indeed a bio play about the turbulent relationship of the French poets Verlaine and Rimbaud. Unknowingly, I had reserved the best for the last. Like in "Dangerous Liasons," Hampton deals with the wayward love lives of the French. Though it's in pretty good shape and I saw an early preview, I couldn't help but wonder how Tom Stoppard might handle the same story. Indeed, there'd be a bit more poetry — they are poets after all — and less historical biography to slow things down.

69. "Mary Rose" by J.M. Barrie

What a dull play. Well, for the most part. The conceit is kinda fascinating, and the execution ain't too bad, but as a whole, this is just one long episode of "Quantum Leap" set in the 19th Century. The only thing that kept me sticking around for act II was seeing Rhea Pearlman during the intermission, which made me think "if Carla Tortelli thinks it's cool, there must be something to it."

68. "The Fantasticks" by Harvey Schmidt and Tom Jones

When I am old and gray, there's nothing more I could wish for myself than to be appearing somewhere in the English-speaking world (New York would be nice) in a play that I also happen to have written at a much tenderer age. So it would seem that Tom Jones is already living out one of my many fantasies, and he's doing it with great aplomb and charm under the pseduonym Thomas Bruce in the role of Henry of this current revival of his 1960 musical. And as paired with Robert Oliver as Mortimer, the comic duo are a vaudevillian gem. But let's not overlook the rest of the current cast, who are all... well, fantastic ... particularly Doulgas Ullman Jr. as Matt. See him before he's replaced by some American idol reject this coming May.

67. "The Juniper Tree" by Philip Glass, Robert Moran, and Arthur Yorinks

Since I had to miss the last performance given by the Collegiate Chorale — a critically lauded "Maid of Orleans" starring Dolora Zajick at Carnegie Hall — I made sure to catch its latest offering, a concert staging of the 1985 one act opera version of the Grimm faerie tale "The Juniper Tree," with a score by Philip Glass and Robert Moran, and video projections of illustrations by Maurice Sendak. The piece is divided into six scenes, three written by each composer. The story is simple but gruesome: a wealthy landowner's first wife eats juniper berries during pregnancy, then dies during childbirth. Years later, his second wife becomes jealous of the first-born son and kills him, then guilts her daughter into believing she's the murderer. Finally, after the dead son is cooked into a stew and eaten by the unknowing father, his bones are buried beneath the juniper tree that marks his mother's grave. The tree bursts into flames and a bird emerges, the reborn spirit of the murdered boy. The bird drops a millstone on his stepmother, killing her. Then he comes back to life and lives happily ever after with his father and step-sister. Awww. Think of the possibilites for a fully staged production.

65 & 66. "The Taming of the Shrew" and "Twelfth Night" by William Shakespeare

There's nothing more to say about these revelations except go to the BAM website and order your tickets NOW. If you enjoy Shakespeare at all, these twin productions by the Propeller Theatre are the performances to see this year — not including the McKellan "Lear" scheduled for the autumn. Edward Hall's brilliant direction and inventive musical handling of the two comedies are among the finest you'll ever see anywhere. If you know someone who really isn't into Shakespeare, you now have the means of converting them. Go today. Hell, go again. You'll see me there.

64. "The $trip" by Lance Horne, Tiger Martina, and Alyse Rothman

Over the weekend, four open rehearsal workshops were held for an ambitious new musical that lambastes American culture — all in the guise of a Las Vegas casino floor show. What is amazing isn't the fact that it's a new concept or that the creators have a potential hit on their hands with this pastiche piece, it's that the whole thing was written in less than two months. For such a short period, it's already in decent shape, though of course it'll need at least a few re-writes and a much stronger book to hold all the 20-odd numbers together. The standouts in the 13-member ensemble were Teal Wicks and Michael Cusumano. Oh, and Stephanie D'Abruzzo, but only because she has a recognizeable name.

63. "Edwards Scissorhands" by New Adventures

photo: Bill Cooper
The dvd of Matthew Bourne's "Swan Lake" is the only one in my small library that receives regular attention. Even the 20th Century Fox Studio Classics edition of "All About Eve" hasn't seen as much playing time. And the reason is that no matter how many times I watch it, his "Swan Lake" always seems new and fresh and plays out like it's the first time I'm seeing it, despite the fact that those viewings have numbered in the hundreds.

So my expectations of "Scisscorhands" were pretty high.

While I did enjoy myself and got swept up by the spectacle, it didn't ellicit as many WOWs as I'd hoped, and I definitely didn't feel anything for poor little freakboy Edward. The treament of the pious Catholic family was hysterical and the topiary ballet was delightful. But it's a shame that my biggest emotional reaction arrived at the curtain call.

62. "Die Ägyptishe Helena" by Richard Strauss and Hugo von Hofmannsthal

photo: Ken Howard
God I hate teal. It brings back awful memories of holding court at my aunt's wedding way back in the 80s. She chose that putrid color for the bridesmaid dresses and in typical Midwestern fashion the cumberbunds and bow ties were chosen to match. Blech. So it goes without any further explanation that you can't dress up a diva in teal and expect her to look good. Especially when they're teal SEQUINS. Especially when she famously lost a TON of weight. Especially when she's Deborah Voigt. Poor thing needs to re-prove herself to the world since everyone is constantly in disagreement about the "new" voice, but what she really needs to worry about is who is choosing those trashy garments. The voice is still there and still fabulous.

The production isn't as bad as one might suppose, after looking at some photos. But do go to hear Fabio Luisi's excellent command of the Met Orchestra. His hands are dipped in gold.

61. "Il Barbiere di Siviglia" by Gioachino Rossini and Cesare Sterbini

A second visit to the new production of "Barber" at the Met reinforced two decidedly opposing opinions: Bartlett Sherr's production is still an uneducated mess, and the Met has assembled a handful of the greatest singers on the planet. Let's go through the list: Handsome tenor who hits stratospheric highs? Juan Diego Florez. Check! Sexy baritone to dominate the stage with a purrfect rendition of one of the world's best known arias? Peter Matthei. A hot as fuck swarthy bass to bring a darkly comic spin to the scene? John Relyea. Check! The one big difference since the premiere is the cast change of Joyce DiDonato as Rosina, replacing Diana Damrau who currently is wowing audiences in "Helena" (see above). For those with memory lapses, DiDonato triumped in "Hercules" a year ago at BAM. Now she's back in New York as the coloratura mezzo maiden. Brava.

60. "The Madras House" by Harley Granville Barker

The Mint Theater Company is one of the few off-Broadway houses that consistently presents excellent productions. And the artistic director Jonathan Bank has made a name for the small company by dusting off forgotten plays —some of them gems — that deserve more time in the sun. Unfortunately, "The Madras House" isn't a gem, but this sizeable cast gives it a nice polish. The four acts all seem like separate plays that have loose ties binding them into one packaged evening. But at three hours, it feels a bit tedious. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it. Some highlights: Roberta Maxwell's breakdown in Act IV, and a passing reference to Trenchard Voysey. And why does George Morfogen always seem like the walking dead in everything he does?

59. "Faust" by Charles Gounod, Jules Barbier, and Michel Carré

This was the first public performance given by Ruth Ann Swenson since it was announced last fall that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm not sure what her bill of health is these days, but what I can say is that her Marguerite continues to be nothing short of glorious. And as if I didn't know it already, her curtain call was evidence enough. I'm already looking forward to her Cleopatra, as well as her Agrippina. Positively golden indeed.

58. "Solo" by Philippe Decouflé

photo: Anita Gioia
This solo multimedia work is utterly charming and entertaining. At only 70 minutes, it's a breath of fresh springtime air. Don't miss Decoufle's homage to Busby Berkeley, accomplished with the use of cameras, one body, and lights. You won't believe it until you see it.

57. "Baal" by Bertolt Brecht

The main problem with this new showcase of "Baal" isn't its low budget — the costume designer made good use out of whatever materials and money she had — and it wasn't the concept — alternative takes on the early Brecht work have been done countless times with decent results. Unfortunately, shoddy direction and overdone performances drove me to the exit at intermission. One performance worthy of note: Jadelynn Stahl as Baal, who has great musical talent.

56. "Jack Goes Boating" by Bob Glaudini

A dull romantic comedy about losers in love. While the play did have some promise in the first 20 minutes, by the end of the first act I ......... Zzzz........Zzzzz...... decided to leave at intermission. I do remember a particularly inventive scene in which John Ortiz's character tries to teach Philip Seymour Hoffman's character how to swim. Other than that... I won't remember much.

55. "The Apple Tree" by Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick

My only previous run-in with Kristin Chenoweth was in "Wicked," so it was great to see her in a musical with a real book. Not only did she nail every single song, including the classic "What Makes Me Love Him?" she also brought the house down with her rendition of "Tiger, Tiger," which as Patrick says, could be a master class on how to perform musical comedy.

54. "Curtains" by John Kander, Fred Ebb, Rupert Holmes, and Peter Stone

Debra Monk steals the show. Debra Monk steals the show. Debra Monk steals the fucking show... and then David Hyde Pierce steals the fucking show. It's a classic musical comedy whodunit filled with showstoppers, knee-slappers, and side-splitters. And DHP is just too cute for words. His bumbling detective cum community theater star is pitch perfect. I can't wait to go back and see it again. It's everything "The Drowsy Chaperone" wants to be and more. And did I mention that Debra Monk steals the show?

53. "King Hedley" by August Wilson

Of course I'm going to compare this new production at Signature Theater to the Broadway premiere in 2001, which won a Tony for Viola Davis. Are there any standout performances this time around? Yes, definitely. All of them. And thankfully, Stokes isn't anywhere near this production. And it's nice to see Mr. Gaines on stage. But while this gritty production is first-rate and leaves you with the sort of depression that's common with Wilson, it isn't the right time for New York audiences to return to this play. We need a first-rate revival of "Fences" above anything else.

52. "The Pirate Queen" by Alain Boublil, Claude-Michel Schönberg, Richard Maltby Jr., and John Dempsey

photo: Joan Marcus
Granted, it was an early preview, so I'm going to reserve judgement with the very strong (and very doubtful) hope that somehow, this show can be saved. A lot of money has been put into it and many, many people are working on it. The size of the cast alone is surprising. The only thing that worked for me in this 2.5 hour wannabe spectacle was Graciela Daniele's Irish step-dancing choreography. The biggest disappointment is Stephanie J. Block, who I don't feel has the charisma to carry an entire show. During her act two duet with Linda Balgord (Queen Elizabeth I), all I heard was shrieking from one (Balgord) and belting from the other (Block). Sharp and flat don't cancel each other out, and they definitely don't create harmony. Eugene Lee's set design is all ropes and sails — attempting to create the illusion of a full-scale pirate ship. But that's also part of the problem. Like his ship without a mast, this is a musical without a backbone.

51. "Dante Variations" by Paul Taylor Dance Company

I caught Paul Taylor's adaptation of the work of Dante. I'm assuming he's referring to Dante's "Inferno" because it seems like this piece was choreographed straight out of Hell. Don't go and expect anything artistic. The costumes alone (designed by Santo Loquasto) are enough to want you to look at anything but the stage, but DO go to hear Ligeti's beautiful "Musica Ricercata" for the barrel organ.